As of today, Robin and I  have been married about 5,875 days give or
take a few days for leap years.  Damn, that’s a long time.  Kind of sad
that in today’s nuptial climate that is a long time, but nevertheless, I am going to proudly claim that it is a long time to be married. 

Last night on my way home  I had one of those,
"Gosh I love my wife" thoughts.  Now before you accuse me of not having
that thought EVERY single dingle gosh darn day, of course I
think "Golly gee, I love her" every morning as I bound blissfully out
of the house whistling the theme song to Ozzie and Harriet.  But there
are those times other times in the day when, for no particular reason,
one remembers how special "the one" is in one’s life.

Oapc_1993And while I could come up with a myriad of reasons why we are still not just happily, but joyfully, married – Of course, I am just assuming that she is as well 😉 – when it comes right down to it, there is only one reason as far as I can tell: She has allowed me to grow into who God hopes for me to be.

Basically she has put up with me, my needs, wants, personality
quirks, family systems, ups, downs, passions, boredoms, struggles,
celebrations . . . whatever, she has been a rock!  More specifically . . .

  1. She loves me for me for what I have been . . . while there
    is much in my past that shall remain unnamed on this blog, the one part
    of my past that is defining for me is my family and family systems.
    Cultural differences aside, the magnitude of my relationship with and
    within my family have always been, not just tolerated, but appreciated and valued
    by Robin.  Both the good and the bad have formed and continues to form
    my understanding of self and Robin has been amazingly aware of all that
    comes with that.
  2. She loves me for what I have become . . . while she is not
    the most gushing person about accomplishments (See #4) other than the
    tattoo incident, I have always felt like the risks I have taken over
    the past 16 years (leaving one church, starting a new church, going
    back to school, riding a motorcycle) whether she understood it or not,
    she has been there and provided the kind of support that has allowed me
    to move in ways I hope God wants me to me.
  3. She loves me for what I may become . . .  Robin has never
    stopped me from dreaming about the future.  I am constantly thinking
    about the next great adventure, whether or not I might even go for it,
    and in most cases (again with the tattoo) she takes a, "if you think
    this is what you should do, sure."  Most of the great adventures never
    even leave the runway, but not for lack of room for the possibility of
    a take-off.
  4. She loves me for me . . . not I know that must be some
    song somewhere, but for a one who values results and needs affirmation
    for things I have DONE/ACCOMPLISHED/ACHIEVED this is huge.  And while
    sometime, I wold like her to think I was wonderful because I did this
    or did that, I think it comes down to she loving me for some of the
    core values I hold and live out, not the results of those values.

So . . . since she hardly ever even reads my blog (Again with #4), this
may even get unnoticed by her, but for others, I am thankful that . . .

  • keeps me humble when I need it;
  • is a great momma;
  • has kept her sense of humor about me and life;
  • has kept her sense of passion about justice;
  • has allowed me to be part of her own journey of growing into who God wants her to be as well. 

Even on day 5,875 it is still and honor, privilege and blessing to be her husband.  Thanks be to God.


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