Friend of mine, Jeff who co-pastors with his wife, Kerri, in the lovely state of Ohio publishes a "Top Seven" list every once in a while.  Thought this was worth a chuckle.

This week’s . . . Top Seven Ways to Promote Growth in the Local Church.

7.  Offer double frequent flyer miles with every visit!

6.  Use “Big Gulp” communion cups!

5.  Issue “Get Out of Hell Free” cards to each member!

4.  Two words:  Reclining Pews!

3.  Begin a new “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” format for the sermon!

2.  Every fourth week raffle off the offering!

And the number one way to promote growth in the local church:

1.  Open a Starbucks franchise in the church lobby!

Should we be scared that, one, #3 kind of happens sometimes and #1 would be a distinct possibility if it were a Muddy’s Coffee House w/o the urine smell, a Ritual Roasters w/o the anti-kid feel or a Thinkers Cafe that stayed open past sunset.

Follow by Email