Below is the Table of Contents for Rule #2: Don’t Be an Asshat: An Official Handbook for Raising Parents and Children. The posted chapters are linked below in BOLD. Over time, minus the blank “Offer your own rules” pages, we will post pretty much the whole thing.  Should this inspire to you buy a copy, we would not be offended 🙂 Posted chapters can be found in the Table of Contents.


TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dedications
The Origin Story
Introduction
Parents, Children, and “Family”
Introduction to the 101

Rule #1: Make good choices (Dad)
Rule #2: Don’t be an asshat (Dad)
Rule #3: Live with gratitude (Mom)
Rule #4: Welcome the new kid (Dad)
Rule #5: Ask for help (Dad)
Rule #6: Return the shopping cart (Dad)
Rule #7: Share your parents (Mom)
Rule #8: Don’t tell other people’s stories (Dad)
Rule #9: Make guacamole (Dad)
Rule #10: Taste everything once (Dad)
Rule #11: Wait tables (Dad)
Rule #12: Use credit wisely (Mom)
Rule #13: Say you’re sorry (Dad)
Rule #14: Forgive others (Dad)
Rule #15: Pick up the poop (Dad)
Rule #16: Ignore what other people think (Dad)
Rule #17: Listen to what some people say (Dad)
Rule #18: Pay the cuss cup (Dad)
Rule #19: Shop wisely (Dad)
Rule #20: Ride the bus (Mom)
Rule #21: Look up (Dad)
Rule #22: Don’t make others late (Dad)
Rule #23: Pack with purpose (Dad)
Rule #24: Finish the task (Dad)
Rule #25: Let things fail (Dad)
Rule #26: Tip the housecleaners (Dad)
Rule #27: Speak up (Mom)
Rule #28: Carve the turkey (Dad)
Rule #29: Do things without being asked (Mom)
Rule #30: Tend to your friendships (Dad)
Rule #31: Cherish your siblings (Mom)
Rule #32: Trust your gut (Dad)
Rule #33: Sing loudly (Dad)
Rule #34: Fall in love (Dad)
Rule #35: Hang a picture (Dad)
Rule #36: Assume goodness in others (Dad)
Rule #37: Watch your drink (Dad)
Rule #38: Don’t flip off the truck driver (Mom)
Rule #39: Learn your history (Mom)
Rule #40: Give back (Dad)
Rule #41: Kiss your lola (Dad)
Rule #42: Have faith (Dad)
Rule #43: Protest (Dad)
Rule #44: Giggle like a middle schooler (Dad)
Rule #45: Never lie to your doctor (Mom)
Rule #46: Don’t mock (Dad)
Rule #47: Talk about the sex (Mom)
Rule #48: Have good sex (Dad)
Rule #49: Be a good leader (Dad)
Rule #50: Be a good follower (Dad)
Rule #51: Find your people (Mom)
Rule #52: Be self-reflective (Dad)
Rule #53: Clap when they can’t hear you (Dad)
Rule #54: Never lose hope (Dad)
Rule #55: Remember others (Dad)
Rule #56: Play board games (Mom)
Rule #57: Look homeless people in the eye (Mom)
Rule #58: Be cute, strong, and smart (Dad)
Rule #59: Be adventurous (Dad)
Rule #60: Forge your own path (Mom)
Rule #61: Read for fun (Dad)
Rule #62: Watch baseball (Dad)
Rule #63: Be political (Mom)
Rule #64: Hold babies and attend funerals (Dad)
Rule #65: Scream as needed (Dad)
Rule #66: Watch silly movies (Dad)
Rule #67: You do you online (Dad)
Rule #68: Spend time alone (Dad)
Rule #69: Remember your immigrant roots (Dad)
Rule #70: Confront injustice (Dad)
Rule #71: Be realistic about your skills (Dad)
Rule #72: Practice, practice, practice (Dad )
Rule #73: Live in another city (Mom)
Rule #74: Know your neighbors (Dad)
Rule #75: Change a flat tire (Mom)
Rule #76: Be strong-willed (Dad)
Rule #77: Let it go (Mom)
Rule #78: Skip school (Dad)
Rule #79: Understand your privilege (Dad)
Rule #80: Be grumpy (Dad)
Rule #81: Fart (Dad)
Rule #82: Feed people (Dad)
Rule #83: Touch the corners (Dad)
Rule #84: Be teachable (Dad)
Rule #85: Chill your onions (Dad)
Rule #86: See color (Mom)
Rule #87: Go camping (Dad)
Rule #88: Be a joiner (Dad)
Rule #89: Be scrappy (Mom)
Rule #90: Pamper yourself (Mom)
Rule #91: Send random notes (Dad)
Rule #92: Be spontaneous (Dad)
Rule #93: Be deliberate (Dad)
Rule #94: Put your bras in a bag (Dad)
Rule #95: Say thank you (Mom)
Rule #96: Pack your patience pants (Dad)
Rule #97: Make hearts on the wall (Dad)
Rule #98: Practice nonviolence (Mom)
Rule #99: Be PC (Dad)
Rule #100: You’ll trip. You’ll fall. You’ll be OK. (Mom)
Rule #101: Kick ’em in the balls and run (Dad)

Conclusion, a.k.a., Parenting Is Never Over
Extra Gravy
Keep in Touch
A Letter to Expectant Parents from Us
A Letter to Our Girls from Mom and Dad
Dear Twenty-Six-Year-Old Bruce, from Old Bruce
Dear Thirty-Year-Old Robin, from Wiser Robin
Developmental Stages
The Publishing Process
Family Photo Album
Words of Gratitude


Thanks so much for taking the time to explore our book. It was a joy to write down some thoughts about this adventure called parenting. We hope it has been helpful.

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