reyes-chow :: FAITH

A different kind of generosity this year

[image: norma desmond]

As many of you know this was the first Christmas since the tragic death of my brother-in-law, Brian.  The family continues to covet your prayer and amazing spirit of support from all corners of our diverse communities.

Needless to say this Christmas was different, but as the family begins to live through the transitions and realities of a new reality without Brian, this uncharted waters was something to move through.  We continue to grieve as we always will and each person will feel the effects and handle them differently, but how we move through these times I believe give glimpses of how we may be in the long run.

In the midst of all of this, there is a face of generosity that has emerged for me in new ways: a grateful, comforting and transforming generosity of Spirit.

We used to always tease Brian for the seemingly disproportionate "value" of the gifts he would give.  He would give a printer, we would give a picture drawn our kids.  He would give some amazing trip to Asia and we would give some rock we thought looked like Elvis*.  In the midst of years of teasing, there was never any resentment, because at the heart of Brian's gift giving was a DEEP generosity that came with no strings, no judgment, just a very real response to the blessings in his life that he wanted to share with the family, his community and yes, often times the stranger.  As over the top as they might have been at times, his generosity was fitting for his personality and his deep gratitude for God in his life.

This year a different kind of generosity was needed and I think will always be needed, not just in our family, but for a world that is hurting in so many ways.  As I walk through the holidays with new lenses on the day, I was moved by the emotional and spiritual generosity that allowed for folks to be real, a generosity grounded in overall thankfulness, a generosity that allowed us to rest in the unspoken nature of family, a generosity that I hope inspires hope, healing and new life.

Our world needs us to engage in a life of this kind of grateful generosity if we are going to experience and inspire some moments of peace in such a complex and hurting world.  As people of Christ, we must live truly as if we understand that our eternal lives have been gifted to us for a reason.  Like Brian's gifts, this generosity is not to be lived in order to elicit obligatory gestures of gratitude, but quite the opposite, we must respond to the blessings of God in our lives so that each of us and the world may be internally transformed and healed in ways that lead towards external expressions of grace.

The world is full of pain, brokenness and suffering.  And while we need to be in those places as long as we need to be there, ultimately our God is a God of hope, new life and healing.  Those moments of grace will come differently for each person, but I do rest in the assurance that some day, that day will come.  And when it does, this grateful generosity becomes real again and again and again and the world is transformed.

Thanks be to God.

*He never gave anyone a trip to Asia, but I cannot with certainty say that we never gifted a rock that we felt looked like Elvis or some other celebrity ;-)

Baby it's cold outside

UPDATE 12.22.07 - Clips used on Sunday

Not only is Elf one of the funniest movies ever, but great clips for sermons.  I used a bunch of clips from Elf this Sunday went over pretty well.  Was not able to use this one, but here is the duet between Zooey and Will for your listening pleasure.

Why Santa will always be welcome at our house: a recap.

Last year there was an ongoing conversations about the appropriateness of Santa during the Christmas season.  I wrote a blog post, Santa, Elmo and Jesus in response to some of the conversations started by one of the MBCC bloggers regarding her post, Saint Nicholas and the Mall Santa.

One of the things I have wanted to start doing is podcasting again.  So I figured, what the heck, why not add an audio track to an old post and see how it goes.

This was recorded at the great independent cafe, Farley's Cafe, in the Potrero Hill District of San Francisco. 

I am still getting figuring out how to use my new mic, Zoom H2 Handy 2 Track Recorder, so apologies for some of the audio weirdness.  Couldn't get all of the popping out, but I will get better.

As always you can listen to it here by clinking on the button at the top or visit www.pod.reyes-chow for instructions on subscribing and other such podcast nonsense.

There may or may not be a Christmas letter, post or anything this year from the RCP family, so just in case we don't see you soon, Merry Christmas and all that!

[Photo: Churchhopping]

Bruce's Top 10 Essential Christmas Albums

Seems that Christmas brings out the cheese in even the most cynical of my friends.  You know who you are and may out yourselves if you choose.  This phenomenon is very cool and I affirm the inner cheesy/drippy spirit that people embrace during the holidays.  Apparently this periodic expression of emotion also brings judgment upon those of us who are more consistently cheesy the rest of the year.  Now rarely do I succumb to defending myself against insults and name calling that is hurled in my direction, but in this case, I must relent.  I feel compelled to defend my Christmas honor and make sure that folks understand that I do not unilaterally hate Christmas or the Christmas carols.  Yes, I may prefer to wait to sing Christmas carols in worship until post-birth of JC, but I still love the Christmas carols in other contexts.  So . . . let me take you through my top 10 Christmas albums that are currently in the rotation.

My essential 10, not ranked and w/o any snarky commentary.

• Christina Aguilara - My Kind of Christmas
• Harry Connick Jr. - When My Heart Finds Christmas
• Bing Crosby - White Christmas
• Luther Vandross - This is Christmas
• Jewel - Joy, A Holiday Collection
• Nat King Cole - The Christmas Song
• Baby Face - Christmas With Babyface
• Toni Braxton - Snowflakes
• Mariah Carey - Merry Christmas
• 'N Sync - Home for Christmas
• BONUS CHEESE: Amy Grant - Home for Christmas

It's beginning to look a lot like . . .

First, despite many in my congregation's relentless mocking and name-calling - "scrooge" "just wrong" "uptight" "modern" - I will hold tight to my belief that Christmas carols should not be sung until Christmas Eve.  Cheesy Christmas albums at home, fine.  But building a sense of expectancy during Advent has always been a big part of my church worship experience and I am sticking to it.  Of course . . . since I really have little power here, thought folks graciously let me think I do, we will be singing carols here at MBCC.  *sigh*

But onto other things - non-SF Bay Area Folks feel free to tune out here - namely some great events that are taking place over the next month.

KENYA 2008 DINNER
Saturday, DECEMBER 8
5:00-8:00 @ MBCC
MBCC is sponsoring a crew to head to Kenya in 2008 to work at an orphanage.  In preparation for this as attendees and a congregation we will be gathering together for this family friendly event to prepare together an authentic Kenyan dinner. We will be joined and instructed by Helen Obande, a native Kenyan and student at SF State. Please bring everyone you've ever known and we'll make a beautiful dinner and party together.
[FB Event Invite]

CHRISTMAS ROCK 2007
Sunday, DECEMBER 9
7:30-8:30 @ Union Square
Come on down to Union Square on Sunday, December 9th for some good old fashioned carol singing. Lori Devey of the Open Door Band will be leading us in our annual singing event. Bring your friends, grab a warm beverage meet us there.  Contact Tiffany Flaming coordinator of The Rock.
[FB Event Invite]

CHRISTMAS CAROLING IN THE TL
Sunday, DECEMBER 16
4:30-6:30 @ 555 Ellis
Sponsored by SF Network Ministries, each year bay area churches raise our voices in song and let our light shine in the Tenderloin. Music sheets are provided, but you'll probably know these carols by heart! Afterwards we share snacks and hot drinks in our community room. Bring your singing voice, warm clothes, and any snacks you'd like to share.
[FB Event Invite]

INTERFAITH MEMORIAL FOR SF HOMELESS DEAD
Thursday, DECEMBER 20
5:30-6:30 in Front of City Hall, Polk Street
Join us as we gather to remember all of our homeless brothers and sisters who have died on the streets this year. Dress warmly and bring a candle. Sponsored by SF Network Ministries.
[FB Event Invite]

Santa, Elmo and Jesus

Inspired by some of the posts on Christmas and Santa by members of MBCC over on the church blog, I have been doing quite a bit of surfing and I figured the pastor should weigh in on the whole "What do we do with Santa during Christmas?" question.  Ahhhh the burden of spiritual leadership ;-)

Get ready for some disappointment . . .

As we all know, this is a debate that can go on and on and on and . . .  Some folks I really think put WAY too much energy into issues like this.  We have all had the theoretical conversations out loud and in our heads both as children as well as adults.  And just like trying to nail down answers about one's faith, there are no easy or RIGHT answers, just the journey towards the truth. 

I know folks will disagree, so let me start by saying that, JUST LIKE GOD, I will find a way to still love you if you disagree ;-)  In fact, I will love you so much that I will help to start your children's therapy fund if they are are scarred by the two extremes that I have heard read about in many of the conversations about Santa:

1. I HEART SANTA - They are crushed by their parents destruction of all things red, jolly and generous during the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, or;
2. SANTA AS SUGAR DADDY - They become greedy little spoiled brats who know nothing of justice, compassion, generosity and gratitude.

On my first run through this post I thought about beginning with a lengthy diatribe on why I think the two extremes are flawed and my nuanced path of moderation through the gray is a far better approach. 

Questions that run through my head as each talks to their children,

For you Santa-Haters, "And by the way [insert child's name here], I've been meaning to talk to you about Elmo.  He really is just a big red furry sock with some guys hand up his backside.  Please don't watch him because his is just one more way "The Man" (Mr. Rogers maybe?) is trying to  keep you down by luring you into this so-called "Elmo's World"  with promises of tickles and dancing and away from the real work of Jesus Christ."
And for you Santa-Lovers, "So, [insert child #2's name here] you do know that your mother and I are a lot like Santa.  Just like Santa won't give you gifts if you are on the naughty list, we will withhold all our love and care unless you are good.  This is a meritocracy, after all we are in America!  In fact, you will be able to tell exactly HOW much we love you by how much stuff you accumulate, now go be good and get lots of stuff.  We love you, now here's a toy.

And as much as I would like to keep entertaining myself by poking fun at the extremes, I think it is better to explain, Why Santa is still welcome at Our Home . . .

Spirit of the Spirit - I think there are different battles that each parent will choose to fight against society and culture. For us, this is not one. There are far more things about the Santa experience that are positive than negative.  Some of the things we learn from Santa as well as Elmo, Mr. Rogers, Dora, Blue and the rest . . .

• Imagination and Play;
• Generosity and Gratitude;
• Hospitality and Community;

No human creation is purely evil or purely good and the Saint Nicholas story is no different.  Humans distort the truth, manipulate intent for their own good or just don't get it, but somehow I think God still moves in and among all human history to give us glimpses of the goodness that we are capable of.  Just like in my faith tradition, while I think that the Puratins took John Calvin to a rigid extreme, that does not mean that all of their beliefs were misguided.  And don't even get me started on what we do with Jesus . . .

There will be a time - There will be a time when every child discovers the "Truth" about Santa.  I firmly believe, however, that one of the greatest responsibilities that we have as parents is be developmentally appropriate with our children. We need to allow children to move from concrete to complex in their ways of thinking and understanding.  I kind of liken it to stages of Bible study, moving from very concrete understandings of Scripture, "God created the Earth, PERIOD" to a more complex understanding of Scripture, "Evolution AND Creation are not mutually exclusive."  Truth and what we get out of our perspective of that Truth changes as we grow in our ability to understand, absorb and be transformed by the complexities and nuances of the very Truth that we search for.

Santa for a Season, Jesus for a Lifetime - I actually am not sure Jesus would care much about this as long as we understand that at its best, Santa is one manifestation of something good.  But, as soon as we worship him (Yes, some will say we already do that.) then we have crossed a line.  The biggest way that we draw the difference is by being intentional about what we focus on.  For Santa it is the generosity and gratitude during this season; for Jesus is it the unconditional love and presence for a lifetime.  We don't focus so much on the the "Only if you are good" thing, though it is a motivator, but more on what we do after we receive these gifts . . . in gratitude for the gifts we receive we go into the world to serve.    Yes, even Santa can help us get back to God. 

Now please do not take any of this as a holier than thou kind of rant, because God knows that the line is difficult sometimes: the pile of presents we really don't need, the money that is spent, the pressures of getting the right gift, the school yard comparisons, etc.  All valid issues with the secular Christmas and ones that we must navigate with wisdom. 

In the end parenting and how we choose to raise our children, encourage their exploration and help them grow into who and who God intends, must be done with with care.  For if we are all indeed created by God as special and unique each child is unique and each parent is unique.  Ultimately we must all discern how best to parent our children and the children of the world so that no matter where you are on this issue or others, we may parent them forward in their faith as we too are transformed by the process of parenting itself.

Don't forget to put out the cookies . . . .