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I think we got this saying from my sister, Lauren, but whenever my family is headed into a situation that will probably require extended waiting, or if we have already been waiting for too long, we will often say to one another in a sing-song voice, "Okay, time to put on our ‘Patience Pants.’"    Depending on our mood, the response is either, "Okay, they’re on." or "Screw that, I’m wearing my ‘hurry the bleep up’ underwear." 

Yeah . . . we’re sophisticated like that.

In any case, I needed my pants big time last night.  On one of the warmest SF days of the year – whew, in the 80’s – we headed to the ice cream parlor to pick up some Baskin-Robbins Mint Chip – the best ice cream in the world, BTW.  As we waited in the long line, I was perfectly understanding that it was taking a little longer than normal.  After all, SF was melting in 80 degree weather.  Long lines, no problem. 

THEN . . . we got to the front of the line and discovered the culprit.  Mr. "Deliberate Ice Cream Scooping Man" was serving people at not just a snails pace, but at a snail on ‘ludes pace.  Now before you get on me for just being impatience, your are right, I felt entitled to faster ice cream service, for no other reason that I had three whiny daughters who were hot and sweaty.  Entitlement is an ugly trait and I was feelin’ ugly.

But come on, it took homey about three minutes to scoop one kiddy size scoop into a cup.  And don’t even start on how long it took for a double scoop or God-forbid a Sundae.  It was about 10-20 minutes per customer.  TEN TO TWENTY MINUTES TO SCOOP FREAKING ICE CREAM!    I felt like I was watching the "How to scoop a perfect ball of joy" training video in slooooooow-motion.  NOT FUN.  Now I understand being deliberate of you are say a brain surgeon, an artist or even a fancy-shmancy chef . . . but NOT for Baskin-Robbin’s ice cream!  Speed baby, speed!

I will say that I during this whole time I managed to NOT say anything snobby or mean, as I kept saying to myself,
"Patience Pants . . . it’s just ice cream."
"Patience Pants . . . it’s just ice cream."
"Patience Pants . . . it’s just ice cream."

Sorry about the rant, but there you have it and I feel so much better.

* Photo liberated from the hilarious site: www.stoopad.com

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