Well, it only took me two days to fall beyond. Distracted by a tv show in which my middle daughter and I are far too invested, the Third Day of Lent reflection is being written on the morning of the Fourth Day of Lent.
Last week I began having headaches and then few days ago, I had the chills and thought I was getting sick.
About two weeks ago, after getting some not-so-positive blood test results back, I decided to go cold turkey on my love affair with a few white things in my life: white flour, white sugar, white rice, and white potatoes.[Insert snappy joke about my white wife here.] Oh, you know you were thinking it 🙂
I finally figured out that I am going through withdrawals. And it sucks.
I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
I have only experienced withdrawals one other time in my life. About 12 years ago after nearly dying from my pancreas being really pissed off at my internal organs, I became attached to Percocet. While I was able to catch myself before getting lost in it all, I distinctly remember the night I had to choose whether I NEEDED another pill for pain relief or if I WANTED another pill because it felt good. And while it was easy to say “no” at that moment, as my body hit the sweats and shakes, the pull back to the medicine cabinet was strong.
I am glad to not have succumbed to the yearnings, but one thing that I learned from that experience was that this was about a battle between my body, my mind, and my spirit; things I thought, things I felt, and things beyond my control — all hoping for me to move one way or another. While I have always tended not to judge people for their addictions, after this, I became a tad bit more empathetic.
I have been diligent in my diet for these couple of weeks and have every intention of staying the course. That said, while in a different realm of addictions, the internal battles are brewing — though instead of the staring into the medicine cabinet for something to stop the pain, I find myself starting into the fridge and pantry looking for something to feed my cravings.
Saving graces are two: first, I live in San Francisco, where whole-grain and good carbs options are available in most places; and second, my online community are support group rock stars as told by the response to my Facebook Update.
All will be well, lots of water, keep exercising, and positive public peer pressure. Thanks be to God.
See you tomorrow.